Humor Comics

Comic strips are very popular. Comic strips, for the most part, are humorous (well, they're supposed to be, anyways). So tell me, grasshopper... why do humor comic books fail so miserably, so often? Why does the general population wanna laugh at cartoons while the General Fanboys wanna see cartoon super "heroes" rip villains' heads off and shit down their necks? What in Sam Hill has gone wrong with our industry? Why are humor comics so reviled while stories about vile heroes so reveled? Why are comic book readers so damned bloodthirsty compared to comic strip readers? Why?! Huh, mister?! WHY?!!

I can't heeeaaar youuuuuuuu!!!

Lemme tell ya, son... I dunno exactly why. But dumbassed, know-it-all fahck that I am, I have some theories. You see, when comic fans are boiled down to their essence, you have a one very bitter geek consommé. For some reason or other, we're victims who need to see the bullies of the world get their asses kicked, the more violently the better. We don't wanna laugh - we want revenge! I know I got into the Hulk because I always fantasized that getting really angry would turn me green and give me the power to smash my older brother.

"BAH! Stupid, puny big brother! Dan SMASH!!!"

Of course, I was the one who always got smashed in real life, but in them thar funny books, the bad guys got what was comin' to 'em! Yes, sir!

So that's one reason we've got no sense of humor... we ain't got time to chuckle, we only got time to SMASH! RARGH!
Then there's the other comic reader type: the Intelligentsia of Panelology (please feign your best Thurston Howell III accent as you read that bit) . The Neoclassical nerd, the too-kewl-for-thou clique. Yup, just geeks who think they're not. Sad, innit? Lemme tell ya, lads, you can wear black turtlenecks and espouse the grandeur of ecstasy whilst reading Yeates and Gaimen - but the fact that you're reading comics is proof positive that beneath that contemptuous, elitist exterior lives a sad-eyed child dying to fit in with the great unwashed. But since the "elite" can only 2 three push-ups and women find their sardonic witticisms as sexy as Carrottop, they retreat to the world of comics where cynical anti-heroes provide them the perfect anti-social role model. Sure, they could skip the comics and just listen to Industrial and read Nietzsche, but then they wouldn't have any message boards to lord their superiority over the sheep (and one another) on.

So you see, there is no time to laugh when you're an intellectual comic book elitist, as "humor"is a "genre," and genres are only for the weak of mind. Excelsior!

So what separates the comic strip reading crowd from the comic book reading crowd? That phantasm known as "normalcy." "Normal" people are well adjusted to society. "Normal" people are society! "Normal" people haven't got time to read long cartoon books about violence, they've gotta pick the kids up from soccer practice in ten minutes, so they only have time to read Garfield and get a good laugh before they climb into the SUV. That Odie, he's hilarious! "Normal" people do not need paper heroes to live their vicarious lives... that's what MOVIES are for, baby!

So all in all, ain't ya glad you're a comic geek? I know I am...

But still, I'm glad there's books out there like PVP, Dork Tower and Knights of the Dinner Table... they prove that every now and then, we bitter dweebs can set down some jack for a good laugh... just as long as somebody gets SMASHED every now and then.

RARGH!